Deep Thoughts by Christopher Tran

I ponder about my childhood memories. To a child's eyes my mother meant the world to me. She looked so huge in my view. As I got older, I realized--She's three hundred pounds.

Nine in a voice chat sounds like great fun. Then I think about my wife yammering away at me. I really don't want nine people nagging at me to do the dishes.

I've once stalked someone for about a day. Then I realized, it's easier sitting on my couch and stare at my picture of her.

I often think my stories will get rejected, but then I know my mother will always accept it. Unfortunately, she's dead.

I often have people come up to me and tell me about there abusive relationships. They go on and on as I rudely talk on my cell phone. Then they roll up a newspaper and whack me with it. I sit there and think, "Hey, that's abusive."

I wonder if a person came back to life like in one of those horror movies, how would I react? Would I invite them in for lunch. Nah. . .I'd probably just shoot them in the head again. Let them rest again.

Hey, Mariyln Monroe may not be hot to some, but it doesn't matter when you close your eyes.

I wanted to read Wes's draft, but then I realized that takes work. It's better to get stoned and finish my Chunky Monkey.

Bill Gates made a lot of money off of Microsoft. I wonder if he'd make more money calling his company MajorHard.

I've often wondered about fonts too. Then I realize maybe world hunger is a better cause than Courier font. Then I sit on the toilet and take a nice crap; finally I understood. I did my part